Little Wahine

So the weeks post Thanksgiving were kind of a whirlwind. I had final papers to finish and I was madly trying to finish a bunch of work to prepare to leave for vacation. In the midst of that I had marathon training and it turned oh so bitterly cold way too fast. Two Sundays ago, I was supposed to do an 18 mile run. It was only a high of 13 degrees with a windchill….so it felt more like zero degrees. We’re talking ZERO Farenheit my friends…. COLD. I tell you this was the hardest run of my life. I was cold. I was really cold. Not only that but the wind was whipping around and the sky was a bleak gray. Gloomy. This was just plain misery. As I headed out to do two final laps around a lake, I mentally broke down. About half way around the lake I just stopped and started to cry. Let’s just say that tears and cold weather simply do not mix! I finished mile 15 and I just knew I couldn’t do a final 3 miles. I came home crying feeling totally defeated. But JVD, my wonderful best friend who coaches me in all areas of life, just said, “Don’t be upset! You ran 15 miles and in really tough conditions!”

He was right.

But they (they being running experts, I guess?) say that if someone can run 18 miles….or even 20…..then they can run 26.2. I needed to conquer the 18!!!

Thank goodness we were heading to the warmth and beauty of Kaua’i for 10 days.

I ran my 18 miles on December 10…..running along a road that boasted incredibly ocean and island views. It was so beautiful it took my breath away (or was it all those miles of running?) JVD met me at the end of my run and snapped some photos of me finishing my run, cheering me to the end. Two days ago, I made it to 20 miles. As I write this I cannot believe that my own two little legs (at five feet tall, they are pretty little!) have run 20 consecutive miles. It looked like Sunday’s run was only going to average out to be 19 miles….but then JVD met me once again out on my run and ran miles 15-17 with me. With his encouragement, he helped me tack on an extra mile to make it an official 20 miler. I am so fortunate to be married to someone who believes in me….especially when I have difficulty believing in myself sometimes.

This coming Sunday I will do another long run and then taper down the next week leading to 26.2. What a challenge and an unreal experience this has been on so many levels. Suddenly, verses I have read my whole entire life (but have not pondered a whole lot lately) are popping into my head and are taking on a whole new meaning. What does it mean to “finish the race” or “run in such a way to get the prize?” Trust me, it just seams a lot easier to give up and quit then to press on to the end. Especially half way. I mean, isn’t 13 miles plenty good? Heck yeah! But deep inside I know there will be no satisfaction in quitting after 13 miles when I darn well know that the hardest part of the journey is beyond mile 13. Now that I have gotten this far, it just seems so fruitless and meaningless to give up now and I will only cheat myself of the reward at the end. What would be the point of all the hard work I have done so far?

So now, 2 1/2 weeks away - though I am nervous as all get out - now I know I want to run the race and cross that finish line and experience the complete jubilation of having run the race! Physically, emotionally and mentally it has (and will continue to be) a journey to get there……I have a feeling the real reward is going to be a spiritual one. I know I cannot do this alone. As my legs grow weary and pain sets in and I honestly don’t think I can take another step, let alone RUN, whose strength am I looking to? Whose help am I seeking? Oh yeah….God. How easy it is for me to forget about God until the going gets tough. This marathon is such the portrait of my life. The first 13 miles, it really is all me. My energy, my legs, my effort. Me. I can do it. But as 13 miles turns into a difficult 17 into a grueling 20 (let alone 6.2 miles after that) it becomes all so clear that this is so not about me. I cannot do this. But….with God - and the help He lends through the people he puts around us - I can do it. So there you go Marathon….you may intimidate me and threaten me with the looming numbers of 26.2…but you will not get the best of me!

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